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Oh I weighted myself also!

13 Feb

I weighted in at 8st 10 this am. I think I’ve just levelled off weight wise. 🙂

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WIAW

13 Feb

Day one again, Alls well today. Absolutely wrecked after work! I was supposed to go to the gym tonight but decided against it. I arrived home after 8 and just wasn’t feeling it 😛

Anywho, breakfast 7.30am was three almonds and two hard boiled eggs.

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Snack at about 12pm was small bag popcorn

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Lunch at about 2pm was a salad similar to the picture, lots of greens chicken ham and basil pesto.

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Dinner was about 8.30pm whole wheat pasta with veg and a vegetable tomato sauce.

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I also had a snack of a cracker with cheese.

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I’m looking forward to tomorrow, the bf is cooking! 🙂

Xx

Cooking healthy yummy food is so satisfying

21 Jan

Well I bit the bullet and weighed myself – 8st 11.6lbs, meh, my weight fluctuates, who cares?! I’ve mainly got to work on eating a healthy balanced diet and having happy feelings toward myself and my body.

Today I cooked some lovely dishes, cauliflower and mixed vegetable curry and a veg packed spicy chilli.

Curry ingredients:
Cauliflower, garlic, onions, kale, green beans, yellow pepper, stock and quinoa

Spices: paprika, cumin, garam masala, chilli powder, coriander, ginger- I think that’s it.

I Sautéed onions and garlic until soft.

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Added the kale and steam, then added all veg allowed to cook for about ten minutes. Then i added all of the spices and stock. Allowed it to Simmer for 20 minutes and added the cooked quinoa.

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And there is my lunch for the next four days. Also as you can see I made a delicious chilli too, I can’t wait to tuck into it tonight for dinner.

I went for a 5km jog/walk today. It took 35ins and burned 230kcal.

Feeling good, I had a great shower, moisturised and gave myself a curly blow dry! Took forever but worth it feeling very pampered now 🙂

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Where did it all begin

6 Jan

First off last night I was seriously on the verge of an out and out binge, I just about managed to stop myself. I’m delighted, I distracted myself and the urge passed quickly and easily. Got up and weighed my self this morning, in an attempt to make the numbers on the scale a normal part of my routine. The number showed 8st 9.5. I had got myself to a point whereby, I would almost always binge on the day I weighted my self either because the number was high, I was fat anyway so what’s the point or because the number was low, I was thin and could afford the extra food. That’s not normal nor is it okay. The more often I weigh myself the easier it will be to resist a binge.

We were always a “healthy” house, treats were usually once a day after dinner. TakeAways were a rarity and food was home made. I was always an active child and teen, between swimming, football and hockey, there wasn’t much room for being sedentary. My mum was always aware of calories and exercise, she retained her college weight all her life and is now in her 50’s and still wears a UK size 10 (US size 6).

At the age of 16 we moved house and I moved school. My best friend and I became closer than ever. After a summer if over eating she embarked on a diet and lost 2 st. In our new school we both started counting calories and trying to eat healthy food. At about 9 st and 5ft 8 ” I was slim, healthy and didn’t really want to lose weight but enjoyed counting calories, etc.

I began kickboxing and about a year later I was signed up for a tournament. That is the first time started trying to lose weight. I wanted to be sure I was in the light weight category. At around this time I began binging too, when I was alone in the house I would eat small amounts of everything to stop it from being noticed. Binging was about twice a month at this stage. I became depressed in my new school, I was lonely and missed my old friends and my old life. It was a truly awful time. I became withdrawn, moody and a plain nightmare teen. It was a time I wouldn’t repeat for all the money in the world.

Then I began college. I got into an excellent course, though I would soon find out that it was incredibly difficult, with a huge amount of pressure. From the get go I didn’t feel good enough, clever enough or as able as the rest of my class. I continued to be withdrawn, shy and very unsocial. I made two good friends in college but was completely terrified of the rest of the class. In my first year, I threw all caring about weight, calories, exercise and my body out the window. I ate what I liked, when I liked and I began partying. I hated my course and myself in equal measure. I gained a stone at least. I felt huge and depressed but didn’t care too much. Over the summer I got a job in my degree area and loved it. I decided to continue with my studies and have never been so happy with a decision.

Around Christmas of second year in college I became I’ll, I got the flu quite badly. I completely lost my appetite and lost about half a stone. This sparked a change in my behaviour I started caring again. I began losing weight slowly. No one really noticed my weightloss because it was so slow.

I can not remember when I started binging again all I know is that in the end I went from 10st to 8 st 10 to 8st 7 at my lowest, but the binging became worse and worse my weight fluctuated and I felt horrible. At my worst I was binging twice a week with about 2-3 thousand calories per binge. Each time I promised it would be my last, each binge becoming worse then the one before. I felt complete out of control. My weight started creeping up again, I was desperate to avoid gaining up to where I was when I started college. The prospect still terrifies me!

Now I am 24, fully qualified in a job I love, I have a wonderful partner that I will most likely spend the rest of my life with, there are no more excuses, nothing to hold me back.

I have just begun trying really trying to stop binging. It is very upsetting and has started to cause problems in my relationship, mostly due to my major mood swings, before and after a binge. I know sugar is the culprit, avoid it and avoid binging. I don’t feel strong enough to quit sugar but it is necessary, in order to regain control over what I’m eating but more importantly in order to regain some confidence and self worth.

Out with the old, in with the new!

27 Dec

I don’t know where to begin, I will do a long post discussing the comings and goings in my life that brought me to this point. For now I will just say this as of this am I am 8st 9lbs 5 feet 8 inches and fed up- I just can’t stop binge eating. Sugar is why I over eat and it’s awful I feel full bloated and guilty at least once a week it’s over. This is not about the weight loss so much as it is about regaling control of my eating behaviour…

Her goes!!!

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